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Mark H. Hansen
Associate Professor of Statistics Co-PI, Center for Embedded Networked Sensing Courtesy appointments in the Departments of Desgin|Media Art and Electrical Engineering, UCLA 8951 Mathematical Sciences Building University of California, Los Angeles Los Angeles, CA 90095 Tel: 310.206.8375 FAX: 310.206.5658 e-mail: cocteau@stat.ucla.edu |
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I started my career at Bell Laboratories, easily the best private research lab on the planet. Given that background, my work tends to be grounded in applications. I work with large, complex data, and recently have started dealing with situations in which data flow continually, forming so-called data streams. My work is necessarily collaborative, and draws on fields as diverse as information theory, numerical analysis, computer science, and even media art.
[ CV(4/08) | Patents and Papers | Talks ]
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| Spam poetry |
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A new job, a new spam filter. While the setup at UCLA is effective,
I've had a few important emails banished to an inaccessible quarantine
area. Paranoid fool that I am, I decided to live life outside the
the protective cushion of the Department's spam filters. Mistake. But I did start
to appreciate a rhythm to my unsolicited email, a kind of poetry.
Here are a few patterns that I've found strangely poignant.
My troubling decline [12 subject lines, VIC0D1N e-mails, 10/04] how is my brother hurting your son hurting your mother hurting pain is killing you assist your brother in pain assist your brother with his suffering is his sister in pain treatment are you in pain your father needs to cope with the pain is her father suffering is my boyfriend hurting how is my boyfriend hurting Berlioz's uncle [15 subject lines, "mo r t gage" ads, 11-12/04] the splash of waves by blue night-lights. Out Thoughts raced, short, incoherent window-sill with his hand, up still more... Well, who knows, who sang out. His eyes more. But I pity the woman meanwhile, without Drink! said the executioner water-soaked cloth of his that the professor was right out of you! You see, Poplavsky began the next door bore Spam Waugh [Senders of pornographic spam, ads, 2/15-3/20/05] Giggler C. Gilgamesh Axiom M. Isolationism Insinuations P. Ability Strowe L. Transmuted Archaeologist A. Machs Punched O. Vilification Sedatest Q. Sushing Forced Q. Sadness Unimpressive U. Counterfeited Generalities S. Gnaw Chastity J. Misleads Insemination D. Solitaries Fortyfying F. Shipwright Muddiest E. Ladybird Detected I. Pitchmen Unknowable S. Easiness Dixon D. Gurgles Demand R. Tautly Sourpuss I. Translator |